"No it ain’t. That’s human crap." - Dusty Baker proves Wrigley is a shit hole

Fox Sports - To manage the Chicago Cubs is to hold one of the most coveted jobs in baseball. But the romance only lasts for so long. Dusty Baker will tell you that.

In 2003, he came within five outs of the World Series. In 2004, he narrowly missed the playoffs despite finishing with a better record than the season before. Get full coverage of spring training in Arizona and see a map of team sites.

In 2006, he was fired. And losing his job wasn’t the worst insult. Not even close.

“At the very end, somebody took a dump right where I stood in the dugout every day,” Baker said Monday morning. “That was the low point. The grounds crew guy cleaned it up. He said, ‘Oh, I think it’s dog crap.’ I said, ‘No it ain’t. That’s human crap.’”

In Dusty we Trusty. Dusty just has a never ending story about all the shit that went down while he was in Chicago, but he never seemed to have any proof of it.  I would love to see a picture of this pile of shit, so I can decide whether I think it is human shit or dog shit.

And if it was human shit there are way too many suspects to possibly figure out who it is.  First you have any one of the pitchers who Dusty ruined the career of (I can just picture Mark Prior and his giant calves popping a squat in the dugout) and if thats the case its only a matter of time before Johnny Cueto or Edinson Volquez drop a deuce in Dusty's standing spot in Cincinnati. You also have any White Sox fans who would want to desecrate that shit hole of stadium that everybody loves.  And finally you have any Cubs fan who just hated the crap out of Dusty, which was all of them.

My guess is a Cubs fan who had access to the stadium and felt like a big steamy pile was the best way to pay Dusty for his years of shitty coaching. Or maybe just a dog, because Dusty is a paranoid dumbass and there is no way he smart enough to tell the difference between human and dog shit.

Shocking News!!! The Situation might be a cokehead

 

ForkParty - This isn’t the first time Situation or Jersey Shore has run into cocaine allegations. Last year rumours floated around of coke use in the house…. hard to believe in Miami and from such model citizens!

MTV is oblivious to the cocaine allegations, but a few sources have been quoted to say that the cast of Jersey Shore are veterans at dodging MTV’s film crews when they want to. Radar Online knows the identity of the Jersey Shore cast member that is allegedly buying the drugs (in Miami it was incredibly easy to do), but they have not published it publicly.

We have a feeling we know who it was buying all the coke for the Jersey Shore cast in Miami, but we’re not about to give that out as the situation is pretty obvious in the photos above. Whoops.

Wait!?  Cast members of the Jersey Shore are on drugs!? Shut up, just shut up. You mean a group of people who talk openly about juicing and are constantly drinking and partying might be doing some blow.  That doesn't even take into account the violent moods swings and the fact that nobody seems to ever go to bed before sunrise. If you had a friend acting like them you would be planning an intervention right now.

I mean it has seemed pretty obvious for awhile that Ronnie and the Situation are on something and you can't really be that shocked if any of them have been ripping lines in the upstairs of Karma.  But I will be heart broken if my guy, Pauly D was involved, I wouldn't be shocked, just heart broken.

NY Knicks acquire LaLa Vazquez and Carmelo Anthony

Congratulations to the Knicks for finally completing their 800 player trade and acquiring the most whipped player in the NBA, Carmelo Anthony.  As soon as Carmelo and LaLa got married last summer the rumors started that he wanted to be traded to a big market, because LaLa wanted to become some kind of reality TV star or something. Well she finally got her wish and I can't wait for the CarmeLaLa show to start on E! next fall.

Truthfully though, this could have been worse for Carmelo, he could have went to the Nets. The Knicks are at least a decent team and have a good foundation for the future now.  Especially since they also picked up, old as balls, Chauncey Billups in the trade, who will be pretty good for a year or so, and then great trade bait. This year though, the Knicks are just slightly better but they still aren't winning a first round series against the Bulls, Celtics or Heat, so all the New York media should calm the fuck down. 

If the playoffs started today the Bulls and Knicks would play in the first round, which would be awesome, but the Bulls would still win that series in at most 6 games. Well at most 5 games if LaLa tells Carmelo he can't play because they need to go antique shopping during game 3.  

Call up Squints and Smalls and meet me at the Sandlot

TMZ - The baseball gods were smiling down on an LA Fitness in Hollywood last week -- where two guys from "The Sandlot" reunited to pump some weights. 
TMZ obtained this awesome photo featuring the guy who played Yeah Yeah hanging out with the guy who played Ham.
Turns out Yeah Yeah -- real name Marty York -- is a trainer at the gym and the other guy, Patrick Renna, was stoppin' in for a quick workout.
The Bambino would be proud...

It's pretty obvious what is going down here.  The only reason two of the greatest youth baseball players of our generation would be hitting the gym together is because they are looking to make a comeback.  I mean their acting careers haven't gone the greatest, but do you remember how good these guys were at baseball.  I think if they get the whole team together and train hard they could definitely beat the Pirates in a best of 7 series, well at least if they had homefield advantage and played all their night games under fireworks.

I mean just look at Yeah Yeah, he's huge.  It's amazing his name didn't come up in the Mitchell Report.  He is probably just using that undetectable Lance Armstrong shit.  And as for Ham, listen to me big guy, don't ever change, don't you ever change.

 

We can do better than Black Thanksgiving

Ok, so last week Michael Wilbon referred to NBA All-Star Weekend as Black Thanksgiving, and then CNN had a story about Black Thanksgiving, which inevitably led to some articles about the Black Thanksgiving controversy. So what did I do?  I googled Black Thanksgiving, and the first picture that came up was the one above.  Just as I suspected, Black Thanksgiving takes place on Thanksgiving Day and involves family, food and football.

So what should we call NBA All-Star Weekend?  Well we could call just it NBA All-Star Weekend, that would work.  I have heard it called the Black Superbowl, which makes way more sense than Black Thanksgiving.  Since you know, it is sporting event, with tons of parties and tons of black celebrities go to it every year.  I mean besides the NBA stars, John Legend, Diddy, Lil' Wayne, Jay-Z, Beyonce, Stevie Wonder (seems like a waste of court side seats), Spike Lee, Gabrielle Union, Justin Bieber and countless others were all there. Or we could go with the World Series of Groupies, since every twitter ho and basketball slut on the planet makes the pilgrimage to All-Star Weekend every year and all have conveniently forgotten to take their birth control. 


Whatever we call it, I think we can all agree it looks like an awesome time and on a personal note, not going to the 2007 All-Star Weekend in Las Vegas may be my number one regret in life.  I mean that was the weekend that all white people learned what "making it rain" means.


PS - I don't think Ciara dresses like this for her Thanksgiving dinner and if she does, I want to go to there.

Derrick Rose is not friends with these douche bags

 

If you watched the lead up to the All-Star game last night you may have noticed something about our guy Derrick Rose that I have been noticing lately.  He doesn't really seem to like or fit in with Lebron and his crew at all. These all seem to be the guys that bow to the thrown of King James and want to create super teams with other stars, like Lebron did.  This group includes guys like Wade, Bosh, Howard, Chris Paul, Amar'e, Carmelo and a few others.

Before the game last night there was the super awkward interview that David Aldridge had with Rose and Lebron, where you can tell that neither one of them wanted to be there. When Aldridge asked Rose if Lebron gave him any advice, Rose just said, "He's a busy guy". Then during the starter introductions the other four guys came out doing cheesy dances (or doing some terrible air-guitar if you are Dwight Howard) and Rose just came out and kind of looked at them, like I'm the young one here but you guys are acting like kids. And then when all the East starters did the Lebron chalk throw you could tell Derrick didn't want to do it, but he played along because he didn't want people to talk so he just mailed it in, and did a half-assed chalk throw in the background.

Now I'm not saying he hates these guys, but he definitely doesn't want to be buddies with this Lebron led crew of guys.   During the off season last year Rose wasn't going out of his way to recruit Lebron like everyone else in the league. He said it would be great to add him to the team, but that he liked his teammates and they could win without Lebron. And it seems like if you don't think that Lebron is the awesomest dude on the planet, then Lebron probably doesn't like you too much.

This isn't to say that Rose is some kind of loner. His teammates all seem to like him and he is good friends with Durant and Westbrook.  Maybe its as simple as these superstar cliques formed down the lines of the last two USA Basketball teams (well and the Celtics as their own clique, we know nobody likes them), but however it happened its kind of nice to see that these guys aren't all buddies anymore.  We might get more old school basketball rivalries going forward, and that is something I am very excited about.

So Derrick is going to keep doing his thing and he knows he doesn't have to kiss Lebron's ass to be a star in the league. He has done it his own way, with his teammates and they are all going to show Lebron and the super friends how good they are without him when they play on Thursday.

Bieber got invited to the block party

Bieber, you can't bring that weak shit in Scottie Pippen's house!  


I love Scottie just being the guy taking the celebrity game way to seriously.  Somebody has to be that guy, and Scottie stepped up.  Bieber did have the last laugh though, winning the MVP, and surprisingly showing some nice basketball skills.  

Or did he have the last laugh...