Veronica Corningstone would be so proud

Salon via the Daily What - It was an unremarkable story: a puff piece about an Australian soccer player and some symbolic, miniature urn he carried with him. But then anchor Belinda Heggen deviated from the typically banal chitchat -- and created what can only be described as an Anchorman moment. With a dash of The Office.

Oh Snap!!! Belinda pulled a straight Veronica Corningstone on Australian Ron Burgandy right there.  I really hope this telecast ended with a "Go fuck yourself Australia".

So the C.C. stands for Cap'n Crunch

NY Daily News - Turns out the secret to CC Sabathia's 25-pound weight loss this winter was another guy with the same initials.  "Not eating Cap'n Crunch every day," Sabathia revealed when asked what changes he made to his diet to help him trim down from 315 lbs. to 290 since the end of last season. "I'm actually what it says on the back of my card."

First off congrats to fatty for losing some weight in what he appears to making a contract year, nice work.  Nothing like money to motivate a person.  And I have always heard that if you stop eating an entire box of cereal in a day you will probably lose some weight, so I'm glad to see that it works.

Now on to the important stuff not covered in this article, and two things the interviewer absolutely has to ask about.  

Question 1:  How can the roof of somebody's mouth possibly take the pain of eating a box of Cap'n Crunch everyday?

Anybody who is ever eaten Cap'n Crunch knows the stuff absolutely destroys the roof of your mouth, especially if you are eating it dry.  Eating dry Cap'n Crunch is like eating razor blades, sweet delicious razor blades.  I assume CC was eating it dry since he was downing a whole box a day, so was his mouth just bleeding all over the place everyday, or did he develop a resistance to it.  Like some gross hardened scar tissue that let him eat that much Cap'n

Question 2:  How much pot do you smoke on a daily basis?

Now I know CC can't answer this because he is a professional baseball player, but there is no way that somebody that eats this much Cap'n Crunch isn't a full on pothead.  Everybody that went to college knows a few stoners and downing a whole box of Cap'n Crunch is something only a full on pothead could do.  Like if you have a kid and you suspect him of smoking weed, don't just ask him, because there is no way he will answer yes Just leave an open box of Cap'n Crunch on the counter.  If its empty when you wake up, check the roof his mouth and if its all scraped and up and bloody, your kid is a pothead. Then you can kick his ass.

Who's got next?

Jordan and Pippen were sitting court side at the Bulls game last night and let me tell you, it was just awesome to see them together again.  Like I seriously have no idea what happened in the game, I just staring at MJ and Pip and hoping the camera would zoom in on them as much as possible.  It was really just a lot of Pippen clapping when the Bulls scored and MJ clapping when the Bobcats scored, kind of like the State of Union Address of basketball, but without Joe Biden making weird faces in the background.

These guys look like they want a game right now, and they should have made it happen. I know Stacey King and big Bill Wennington were announcing and Paxson had to be in the building somewhere doing his GM stuff.  Thats a starting 5 right there and roll out some random Bulls and Bobcats scrubs who didn't get in, and we got a game.  Nobody would have left the stadium and I'm 100% confident old Jordan and Pippen win that game.