"No it ain’t. That’s human crap." - Dusty Baker proves Wrigley is a shit hole

Fox Sports - To manage the Chicago Cubs is to hold one of the most coveted jobs in baseball. But the romance only lasts for so long. Dusty Baker will tell you that.

In 2003, he came within five outs of the World Series. In 2004, he narrowly missed the playoffs despite finishing with a better record than the season before. Get full coverage of spring training in Arizona and see a map of team sites.

In 2006, he was fired. And losing his job wasn’t the worst insult. Not even close.

“At the very end, somebody took a dump right where I stood in the dugout every day,” Baker said Monday morning. “That was the low point. The grounds crew guy cleaned it up. He said, ‘Oh, I think it’s dog crap.’ I said, ‘No it ain’t. That’s human crap.’”

In Dusty we Trusty. Dusty just has a never ending story about all the shit that went down while he was in Chicago, but he never seemed to have any proof of it.  I would love to see a picture of this pile of shit, so I can decide whether I think it is human shit or dog shit.

And if it was human shit there are way too many suspects to possibly figure out who it is.  First you have any one of the pitchers who Dusty ruined the career of (I can just picture Mark Prior and his giant calves popping a squat in the dugout) and if thats the case its only a matter of time before Johnny Cueto or Edinson Volquez drop a deuce in Dusty's standing spot in Cincinnati. You also have any White Sox fans who would want to desecrate that shit hole of stadium that everybody loves.  And finally you have any Cubs fan who just hated the crap out of Dusty, which was all of them.

My guess is a Cubs fan who had access to the stadium and felt like a big steamy pile was the best way to pay Dusty for his years of shitty coaching. Or maybe just a dog, because Dusty is a paranoid dumbass and there is no way he smart enough to tell the difference between human and dog shit.

Shocking News!!! The Situation might be a cokehead

 

ForkParty - This isn’t the first time Situation or Jersey Shore has run into cocaine allegations. Last year rumours floated around of coke use in the house…. hard to believe in Miami and from such model citizens!

MTV is oblivious to the cocaine allegations, but a few sources have been quoted to say that the cast of Jersey Shore are veterans at dodging MTV’s film crews when they want to. Radar Online knows the identity of the Jersey Shore cast member that is allegedly buying the drugs (in Miami it was incredibly easy to do), but they have not published it publicly.

We have a feeling we know who it was buying all the coke for the Jersey Shore cast in Miami, but we’re not about to give that out as the situation is pretty obvious in the photos above. Whoops.

Wait!?  Cast members of the Jersey Shore are on drugs!? Shut up, just shut up. You mean a group of people who talk openly about juicing and are constantly drinking and partying might be doing some blow.  That doesn't even take into account the violent moods swings and the fact that nobody seems to ever go to bed before sunrise. If you had a friend acting like them you would be planning an intervention right now.

I mean it has seemed pretty obvious for awhile that Ronnie and the Situation are on something and you can't really be that shocked if any of them have been ripping lines in the upstairs of Karma.  But I will be heart broken if my guy, Pauly D was involved, I wouldn't be shocked, just heart broken.

NY Knicks acquire LaLa Vazquez and Carmelo Anthony

Congratulations to the Knicks for finally completing their 800 player trade and acquiring the most whipped player in the NBA, Carmelo Anthony.  As soon as Carmelo and LaLa got married last summer the rumors started that he wanted to be traded to a big market, because LaLa wanted to become some kind of reality TV star or something. Well she finally got her wish and I can't wait for the CarmeLaLa show to start on E! next fall.

Truthfully though, this could have been worse for Carmelo, he could have went to the Nets. The Knicks are at least a decent team and have a good foundation for the future now.  Especially since they also picked up, old as balls, Chauncey Billups in the trade, who will be pretty good for a year or so, and then great trade bait. This year though, the Knicks are just slightly better but they still aren't winning a first round series against the Bulls, Celtics or Heat, so all the New York media should calm the fuck down. 

If the playoffs started today the Bulls and Knicks would play in the first round, which would be awesome, but the Bulls would still win that series in at most 6 games. Well at most 5 games if LaLa tells Carmelo he can't play because they need to go antique shopping during game 3.