If this video doesn't make you smile, you are not a Bulls fan

Video courtesy of Blog-a-Bull

I guess they played this "Evolve" video on the jumbo-tron at the United Center recently.  This is just good old fashioned fun. Seeing the college and high school clips of all guys, is just some good old cheesy stuff.  You've got Michael and Scottie and the current crop of stars DRose, Boozer, Deng, Noah, and Kyle Korver.  Wait Kyle Korver made this video? I guess they wanted to squeeze a white guy in there.  I bet Brian Scalabrine is pissed he didn't get to be the token white guy, he has made career of that. I would love some old clips of Scal shooting garbage time jumpers and waving towels from the bench.

SCAL-A-BRIN-EEEE!!!

Tommie Harris...He Gone!

CBS Chicago - On Monday, the Chicago Bears terminated the contracts of veterans Tommie Harris, Hunter Hillenmeyer and Kevin Shaffer.

Harris, a former Pro-Bowler, started 90 of 104 career games over his seven years as a Bear. He had 286 tackles, 28.5 sacks, six forced fumbles and was given the team’s 2007 Ed Block Courage Award and 2004 Brian Piccolo Award.

Hillenmeyer had 458 tackles, seven sacks and two interceptions in his 101 career games, 69 of which were as a starter.

Shaffer started seven games at right tackle over his two seasons with the Bears. He’s played in 132 career NFL games with Atlanta (2002-05), Cleveland (2006-08) and Chicago.

The Chicago Bears have finally cut Tommie Harris. It has been three years since Tommie has had a good season for the Bears, and he was the second highest paid player on the defense, making $10 million a season.

Tommie was one of the best defensive tackles in the league 5 years ago and a key to their 2006 NFC championship team but it seems like injuries, laziness and general crappy play has finally caught up with him.  How you go from being that good, to being benched for full games because the coach doesn't think you are good enough is beyond me. I won't miss Tommie Harris a bit anymore.  I missed him two years ago, when he decided to stop being good, but I'm over him now, as it appears the Bears are too.

And you thought being a male cheerleader couldn't get more embarrassing

Bro, I know you think you are part of the team, but stay off the court when the game is going on.  I didn't even know it was possible for a cheerleader to get a technical foul.  I'm assuming that he thinks he won the game here, even though he's not part of the team, but you've got to be smarter than this.  I mean you are already the lowest form of male "athlete" on the planet, no reason to blow a game for the actual athletes that people came to watch play. Dude is just lucky that Pitt ended up missing the three after the technical free throws. If Louisville blows that game he has to transfer schools, right?

And what makes a guy become a male cheerleader? Is it because you think it's your only chance to be part of a team or something? Just join a intramural flag-football or broomball team or something. Somebody get George W. Bush on the phone and ask him.

ChicagBro of the Week: Chris Bosh

TBJ exclusive: Like A Bosh from The Basketball Jones on Vimeo.

It would be really easy to make Derrick Rose the ChicagBro of the Week almost every week during this basketball season, and Rahm Emanuel also received a few votes too. But in what was really the biggest Bulls game of the year last night, Chris Bosh was the Chicago Bulls MVP.  1 for 18 shooting from the field and just getting dominated defensively by Noah and Omer Asik. The only way to describe his play last night...Like a Bosh.

Lovie Smith is gonna be here for a while

The Chicago Bears made it to the NFC Championship game last year, so if you are the Chicago Bears, I guess that means you need to give him more money.  The Bears gave Lovie a two year contract extension, which means that Lovie is now under contract through the 2013 season.

I know the Bears had a much better season than expected last year, but this move just seems like it is totally unnecessary. Lovie was still under contract for another year, so it's not like the Bears had to do this right now. We have seen the Bears have a random good season followed by a bad one.  What is the risk of letting the season play out and negotiating with him later if things are still moving in the right direction? I don't really think there is a high demand for Lovie around the league and teams are just waiting to scoop him up.

Also the argument that they want to get him locked up before the work stoppage, is a dumb one. If there is a work stoppage and for some reason no NFL season next year, no other coaches are going to get fired, so there won't be anywhere else for Lovie to go. 

It is just a classic Bears move.  Pay a guy for what he just did, not what he will do for you during his new contract. That is how you end up with Tommy Harris being one of the highest paid guys on the team. 

Yesterday could not have turned out better for the Bulls

Bulls beat Heat, Celtics trade away Kendrick Perkins and Celtics lose to the Nuggets.  All they did was win, win, win.

First off the game last night. The Bulls beat the Heat last night 93-89. Great game played by the whole team (except Keith Bogans, but that is expected), especially Omer Asik who had 11 rebounds and played great defense coming off the bench. Wade and Lebron had big games, well until Lebron tossed up that brick at the end of the game, but the Bulls defense shut down the rest of the team. That is exactly the type of game the Bulls needed to show the league they are for real  after everybody started slobbering all over the Knicks after the Carmelo trade.

On top of the win, the Bulls also won because the Celtics inexplicably traded their best big man, Kendrick Perkins, to the Thunder for Jeff Green. The Celtics strength is their size and getting rid of size, just makes no sense for them. So inevitably the Celtics lost last night and the Bulls are now 2 games out of first place, which is definitely with in reach.

PS - Chris Bosh, get your punk ass off the ground.  That was the worst flop ever.

Bulls vs Heat tonight, both teams at full strength, let's do this

It seems like the Bulls and the Heat were the only teams that didn't make trade deadline deals today, but that benefits the fans tonight because we get Bulls vs Heat in Chicago tonight with full rosters and no excuses.  The Bulls beat the Heat 99-96 on January 15th in Chicago the first time the two teams played, but neither Joakim Noah or Lebron James played in the game. 

So let's see how these teams match up at full strength tonight.  Who will cover Rose for the Heat?  How will the Bulls try to stop Lebron and Wade when they are on the court together? Can the Heat rebound against the Bulls healthy front court? Will Lebron dance around on the court like a little bitch again? Let's see if we get some answers tonight.

Oh wait, there is a Cubs billboard with Paul Konerko on it

Cubs fans, get your tickets to see Paulie, Adam Dunn, Gordon Beckham and the rest of the 2011 AL Central Champs.

PS - I know this is a hack job. I don't even have photoshop on my computer. So suck it.

Year 2: Come see Jeter and Pujols at Wrigley

Well, well, well, oh how the tables have turned. For years Cubs fans have made fun of the White Sox advertising campaigns, especially the famed "The Kids Can Play" campaign (PS, the Sox are "All In" this year), even making fun of the fact that the White Sox needed ad campaigns at all. 

They said that Cubs fans are the greatest fans in the world, they don't need ads to tell them to go watch their team.  Well they got that part right, because these ads aren't about going to see their team at all. So Cubs "fans", go get your Jeter and Pujols tickets, maybe even snag some Lincecum or Braun tickets while you are shopping because we know you don't want to buy any Colvin and DeWitt tickets.

I know it would never happen, but I would seriously shit my pants with excitement if the Cubs made an Adam Dunn billboard. Oh and I also know that Cubs still are going to outdraw the White Sox this year, but at least I don't have to look at White Sox billboards with Joe Mauer on them.

PS - The Cubs should save that Pujols ad for next year when he is on the team.

Who is Derrick Rose flipping off in this ad?

Adidas finally got it right with Derrick Rose in this new ad for the AdiZero 1.5.  Just let his attitude shine through.  You don't need Ken Jeong riding a wave runner through a swimming pool of caviar, when you have DRose just looking bad ass, and clearly flipping off the camera.

But who is that not so hidden middle finger directed at? Well from an Adidas perspective it is probably Nike, but from Derrick's perspective it is way more interesting. He will never say who that is directed at, or probably ever admit that he is flipping off anybody in this video, but we know better. This video goes out to everyone that didn't believe he was ready to be superstar and run his own team. It goes out to all the so called "superstars" who are leaving there teams to go somewhere else where they have a better chance to win. And most of all it goes out to anyone who is going to get in the Bulls way come playoff time this year. 

Predator: The Musical - The first musical I would ever go see live

This needs to be made into an actual musical. Arnold is available now and I'm sure you can get Jesse "The Body" Ventura and Carl Weathers. So there is no reason this shouldn't happen. I would never go to almost any musicals, they might be good, I will just never go. You need something like this to get people like me into the world of musical theatre or at least to get our money once. 

Guys, just think of how impressed your dates will be when you tell them you are taking them to a musical, especially one with this much star power. That is why this needs to happen. So Broadway or Nathan Lane or whoever is in charge of making musicals, make this happen with the quickness.

QB Trick shot videos are the new basketball trick shot videos

First off, let me say that Alex Tanney here made some nice throws, and it is really too bad for him that NFL teams don't draft quarterbacks off of trick shot videos, because he would be at least 2nd round pick.

A few year ago we started seeing beer pong and basketball trick shots and now this is the second football trick shot video in a couple weeks. So the question is what is next? Golf? Soccer? Tennis? Lacrosse? Bass Fishing?

I'll tell you what it is going to be, bags or cornhole or whatever you want to call it.  Because as soon as it gets warm enough I'm going to make the greatest bags trick shot tape ever. Just chucking bags out of moving cars and off 4th floor balconies. It might take me a week to put together two minutes of video, but I'm going to do it. Right now I am just working on my turn around and look at the camera like I knew that shot was going in the whole time face. Oh and I'm trying to pick out a really hard rap song to use as the background music.

Sorry Bruce, it's time for you to go

 

In case you haven't noticed the Illinois Men's Basketball team is in a free fall of sorts. They have lost 8 of their last 12 games and it appears that Bruce Weber does not know how to fix it. Last night he started Crandall Head who has only played in 13 games this year against the number 3 team in the country, Ohio State and needless to say it didn't turn out well. Head scored 2 points in 16 minutes of play and the Illini lost in a blowout. 

Why did Bruce do this? Well it goes back to his rough relationship with Demetri McCamey. The two often don't see eye to eye and butt heads during the week and during games.  Don't get me wrong though, McCamey has plenty of blame to take here, but he isn't the coach of the team. It is Bruce's job to fix this whether it is with McCamey or without him. This isn't just about McCamey though, the other two seniors on the team, Tisdale and Davis have also both regressed this year as well.

The Illini basketball program has been on a downward slope for the last few years and this was supposed to be the come back year. They get good recruits, but they never seem to develop them into star players. There is no reason that they shouldn't be in the top 3 of the Big 10 every year with their recruiting base and the players they bring in.  That has to be the responsibility of somebody. So, sorry Bruce, from all accounts you are a great guy and I love your high pitched-raspy voice, but after this season it is time for you to go.

"No it ain’t. That’s human crap." - Dusty Baker proves Wrigley is a shit hole

Fox Sports - To manage the Chicago Cubs is to hold one of the most coveted jobs in baseball. But the romance only lasts for so long. Dusty Baker will tell you that.

In 2003, he came within five outs of the World Series. In 2004, he narrowly missed the playoffs despite finishing with a better record than the season before. Get full coverage of spring training in Arizona and see a map of team sites.

In 2006, he was fired. And losing his job wasn’t the worst insult. Not even close.

“At the very end, somebody took a dump right where I stood in the dugout every day,” Baker said Monday morning. “That was the low point. The grounds crew guy cleaned it up. He said, ‘Oh, I think it’s dog crap.’ I said, ‘No it ain’t. That’s human crap.’”

In Dusty we Trusty. Dusty just has a never ending story about all the shit that went down while he was in Chicago, but he never seemed to have any proof of it.  I would love to see a picture of this pile of shit, so I can decide whether I think it is human shit or dog shit.

And if it was human shit there are way too many suspects to possibly figure out who it is.  First you have any one of the pitchers who Dusty ruined the career of (I can just picture Mark Prior and his giant calves popping a squat in the dugout) and if thats the case its only a matter of time before Johnny Cueto or Edinson Volquez drop a deuce in Dusty's standing spot in Cincinnati. You also have any White Sox fans who would want to desecrate that shit hole of stadium that everybody loves.  And finally you have any Cubs fan who just hated the crap out of Dusty, which was all of them.

My guess is a Cubs fan who had access to the stadium and felt like a big steamy pile was the best way to pay Dusty for his years of shitty coaching. Or maybe just a dog, because Dusty is a paranoid dumbass and there is no way he smart enough to tell the difference between human and dog shit.

Shocking News!!! The Situation might be a cokehead

 

ForkParty - This isn’t the first time Situation or Jersey Shore has run into cocaine allegations. Last year rumours floated around of coke use in the house…. hard to believe in Miami and from such model citizens!

MTV is oblivious to the cocaine allegations, but a few sources have been quoted to say that the cast of Jersey Shore are veterans at dodging MTV’s film crews when they want to. Radar Online knows the identity of the Jersey Shore cast member that is allegedly buying the drugs (in Miami it was incredibly easy to do), but they have not published it publicly.

We have a feeling we know who it was buying all the coke for the Jersey Shore cast in Miami, but we’re not about to give that out as the situation is pretty obvious in the photos above. Whoops.

Wait!?  Cast members of the Jersey Shore are on drugs!? Shut up, just shut up. You mean a group of people who talk openly about juicing and are constantly drinking and partying might be doing some blow.  That doesn't even take into account the violent moods swings and the fact that nobody seems to ever go to bed before sunrise. If you had a friend acting like them you would be planning an intervention right now.

I mean it has seemed pretty obvious for awhile that Ronnie and the Situation are on something and you can't really be that shocked if any of them have been ripping lines in the upstairs of Karma.  But I will be heart broken if my guy, Pauly D was involved, I wouldn't be shocked, just heart broken.

NY Knicks acquire LaLa Vazquez and Carmelo Anthony

Congratulations to the Knicks for finally completing their 800 player trade and acquiring the most whipped player in the NBA, Carmelo Anthony.  As soon as Carmelo and LaLa got married last summer the rumors started that he wanted to be traded to a big market, because LaLa wanted to become some kind of reality TV star or something. Well she finally got her wish and I can't wait for the CarmeLaLa show to start on E! next fall.

Truthfully though, this could have been worse for Carmelo, he could have went to the Nets. The Knicks are at least a decent team and have a good foundation for the future now.  Especially since they also picked up, old as balls, Chauncey Billups in the trade, who will be pretty good for a year or so, and then great trade bait. This year though, the Knicks are just slightly better but they still aren't winning a first round series against the Bulls, Celtics or Heat, so all the New York media should calm the fuck down. 

If the playoffs started today the Bulls and Knicks would play in the first round, which would be awesome, but the Bulls would still win that series in at most 6 games. Well at most 5 games if LaLa tells Carmelo he can't play because they need to go antique shopping during game 3.  

Call up Squints and Smalls and meet me at the Sandlot

TMZ - The baseball gods were smiling down on an LA Fitness in Hollywood last week -- where two guys from "The Sandlot" reunited to pump some weights. 
TMZ obtained this awesome photo featuring the guy who played Yeah Yeah hanging out with the guy who played Ham.
Turns out Yeah Yeah -- real name Marty York -- is a trainer at the gym and the other guy, Patrick Renna, was stoppin' in for a quick workout.
The Bambino would be proud...

It's pretty obvious what is going down here.  The only reason two of the greatest youth baseball players of our generation would be hitting the gym together is because they are looking to make a comeback.  I mean their acting careers haven't gone the greatest, but do you remember how good these guys were at baseball.  I think if they get the whole team together and train hard they could definitely beat the Pirates in a best of 7 series, well at least if they had homefield advantage and played all their night games under fireworks.

I mean just look at Yeah Yeah, he's huge.  It's amazing his name didn't come up in the Mitchell Report.  He is probably just using that undetectable Lance Armstrong shit.  And as for Ham, listen to me big guy, don't ever change, don't you ever change.

 

We can do better than Black Thanksgiving

Ok, so last week Michael Wilbon referred to NBA All-Star Weekend as Black Thanksgiving, and then CNN had a story about Black Thanksgiving, which inevitably led to some articles about the Black Thanksgiving controversy. So what did I do?  I googled Black Thanksgiving, and the first picture that came up was the one above.  Just as I suspected, Black Thanksgiving takes place on Thanksgiving Day and involves family, food and football.

So what should we call NBA All-Star Weekend?  Well we could call just it NBA All-Star Weekend, that would work.  I have heard it called the Black Superbowl, which makes way more sense than Black Thanksgiving.  Since you know, it is sporting event, with tons of parties and tons of black celebrities go to it every year.  I mean besides the NBA stars, John Legend, Diddy, Lil' Wayne, Jay-Z, Beyonce, Stevie Wonder (seems like a waste of court side seats), Spike Lee, Gabrielle Union, Justin Bieber and countless others were all there. Or we could go with the World Series of Groupies, since every twitter ho and basketball slut on the planet makes the pilgrimage to All-Star Weekend every year and all have conveniently forgotten to take their birth control. 


Whatever we call it, I think we can all agree it looks like an awesome time and on a personal note, not going to the 2007 All-Star Weekend in Las Vegas may be my number one regret in life.  I mean that was the weekend that all white people learned what "making it rain" means.


PS - I don't think Ciara dresses like this for her Thanksgiving dinner and if she does, I want to go to there.

Derrick Rose is not friends with these douche bags

 

If you watched the lead up to the All-Star game last night you may have noticed something about our guy Derrick Rose that I have been noticing lately.  He doesn't really seem to like or fit in with Lebron and his crew at all. These all seem to be the guys that bow to the thrown of King James and want to create super teams with other stars, like Lebron did.  This group includes guys like Wade, Bosh, Howard, Chris Paul, Amar'e, Carmelo and a few others.

Before the game last night there was the super awkward interview that David Aldridge had with Rose and Lebron, where you can tell that neither one of them wanted to be there. When Aldridge asked Rose if Lebron gave him any advice, Rose just said, "He's a busy guy". Then during the starter introductions the other four guys came out doing cheesy dances (or doing some terrible air-guitar if you are Dwight Howard) and Rose just came out and kind of looked at them, like I'm the young one here but you guys are acting like kids. And then when all the East starters did the Lebron chalk throw you could tell Derrick didn't want to do it, but he played along because he didn't want people to talk so he just mailed it in, and did a half-assed chalk throw in the background.

Now I'm not saying he hates these guys, but he definitely doesn't want to be buddies with this Lebron led crew of guys.   During the off season last year Rose wasn't going out of his way to recruit Lebron like everyone else in the league. He said it would be great to add him to the team, but that he liked his teammates and they could win without Lebron. And it seems like if you don't think that Lebron is the awesomest dude on the planet, then Lebron probably doesn't like you too much.

This isn't to say that Rose is some kind of loner. His teammates all seem to like him and he is good friends with Durant and Westbrook.  Maybe its as simple as these superstar cliques formed down the lines of the last two USA Basketball teams (well and the Celtics as their own clique, we know nobody likes them), but however it happened its kind of nice to see that these guys aren't all buddies anymore.  We might get more old school basketball rivalries going forward, and that is something I am very excited about.

So Derrick is going to keep doing his thing and he knows he doesn't have to kiss Lebron's ass to be a star in the league. He has done it his own way, with his teammates and they are all going to show Lebron and the super friends how good they are without him when they play on Thursday.

Bieber got invited to the block party

Bieber, you can't bring that weak shit in Scottie Pippen's house!  


I love Scottie just being the guy taking the celebrity game way to seriously.  Somebody has to be that guy, and Scottie stepped up.  Bieber did have the last laugh though, winning the MVP, and surprisingly showing some nice basketball skills.  

Or did he have the last laugh...

It's time for Blake Griffin to save the dunk contest

I know I may be the only person who still cares about the dunk contest so I will keep this short, but Blake Griffin is about to kill it Saturday night and make me wish I was still 12 years old with a 7 foot basketball hoop outside to try to copy all his moves on.  Ok, maybe I would do the same thing right now if I had a 9 foot hoop, or actually an 8 foot hoop or screw it, just bring back the 7 foot hoop.


Have a great weekend and may it be as awesome as all of Blake's dunks.

ChicagBro of the Week: Derrick Rose

It is only fitting that the first ChicagBro Sports ChicagBro of the Week is Derrick Rose.  It was really easy for the panel of one (aka me) to come to this decision.  Hometown boy playing for the hometown team is the leading candidate for the NBA MVP award going into the all-star break.  Last night he was just out of control posting 42 points (a career-high), 8 assists and 5 boards while leading the Bulls to a 109-99 win against the league leading San Antonio Spurs, with the whole league watching. DRose is for real and Bulls are for real and that game last night proved it to any of the few people who weren't believers.  So Derrick have fun over the all-star weekend and get some rest because you have work to do in the second half and a ring to win.

PS - Everybody laughed when Derrick asked why he couldn't be MVP this year, but nobody is laughing now. 

This man deserves a raise!?

Chicago Tribune - Illinois head football coach Ron Zook will get a $250,000-a-year raise after his team's 7-6 season.

Illini Athletic Director Ron Guenther said Wednesday that Zook's annual salary will be increased from $1.5 million to $1.75 million once approved by university trustees.
Guenther said Zook's staff will get raises, too. That includes offensive coordinator Paul Petrino and defensive coordinator Vic Koenning. Petrino will get a $50,000 raise to $525,000 a year and Koenning will be paid $342,000, a $17,000 bump. 

Petrino and Koenning were hired after most of Zook's staff was fired over the three-win 2009 season. 

Guenther said Tuesday that Illinois' Texas Bowl win is the first step toward regular bowl appearances. He noted few Illinois coaches have been that successful but said there's no reason it can't happen. 

Um...Ron Zook sucks.  Ron Guenther knows that, right?  I guess not. This just goes to prove what every underachieving cubicle monkey thinks.  If you set the bar really low, people will be impressed if you just don't fuck up.

Its true the team did better this year, but its not like they had a great year.  They went 6-6 in the regular season and beat a crappy Baylor team in the Texas Bowl.  The problem with that is  Zook actually coached less this year.  In order to keep his job last year they made him hire new assistants and defer some of the control of the team over to them.  But I guess shit like this happens all the time in the world.  If anything just give the raises to Petrino and Koenning, because those are the guys that turned the team around and you don't want them running off to take a head coaching job at Western Illinois or something.

PS - You know who is jumping up and down after reading this?  Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuce.  Nothing spells a raise in the Illini athletic department like a second straight NIT appearance.

Hey JJ, you might want to sit out for a minute

Oh Kirk, don't do him like that.  That is some straight up white on white crime.  I don't remember the last time a white guy broke some ankles with a crossover dribble like that.  I guess there does need to be an asterisk next to it to though because JJ Redick probably one of the worst defenders in the league.  Either way it would be nice to still have Hinrich on the Bulls, he is exactly the type of role player the team could use right now.  He's a backup point guard who can play the two, hit open jumpers and play tough defense. Plus now he wears that sweet face mask, and everybody knows face mask guys pick it up a level in the playoffs.

Also, how long before his Redick's teammates stop making fun of him for this?  They aren't stopping this year for sure.  Like you know Dwight Howard and him are going to be walking towards each other in the hallway and Dwight is just gonna stumble backwards and fall and grab JJ's ankle.

PS - I'm sorry for the terrible music at the very end of the video.  I don't know who thought that was a good idea.

Miguel Cabrera has really gotten his act together

Sporting News - Detroit Tigers slugger Miguel Cabrera was arrested late Wednesday on drunken driving charges in Florida, police said, the latest episode for the first baseman who has struggled with a drinking problem.

Cabrera, 27, was spotted by a deputy in a car that's engine was smoking alongside a road in Fort Pierce. Inside the vehicle, Cabrera smelled of alcohol, had slurred speech and took a swig from a bottle of scotch in front of a deputy, according to St. Lucie County Sheriff's Office said. He refused to cooperate and more deputies were called to the scene.

He was wandering into the road with his hands up before he was handcuffed, the report said. He kept saying, "Do you know who I am, you don't know anything about my problems," and cursed at deputies who tried to get him into a patrol car.

One deputy struck Cabrera in the left thigh several times with his knee after Cabrera pushed into him, causing the ballplayer to fall into the patrol car. Cabrera refused to take a breath test, deputies said.

Well, so much for the Tigers competing with Twins and White Sox for the AL Central crown this year.  It can't help your team when your best player (who is a recovering alcoholic) is drunkenly pushing police officers in the middle of street right before spring training starts.  That won't cause any unneeded distractions for the team.

You at least have to respect Cabrera's decision to refuse to take the breathalyzer right after he took a pull of scotch straight from the bottle. Like he is obviously drunk, what is the point of proving exactly how drunk he is.

Spring is officially here!!!

It's 52 degrees outside, my car has no snow piled up around it, and the White Sox pitchers and catchers report to spring training today. That means that spring is here I can forget about the Packers winning the Super Bowl and focus on the Bulls playoff run and the White Sox taking the AL Central crown back from the Twins. 


According to Kenny, Jerry and the White Sox marketing department they are "All in" this year, but are they really? The team looks better than last year, but there are still questions that need to be answered.  Here are three that may be the most important.



How soon can Peavy come back and who is going to be the 5th starter until he does? Peavy claims to be at 60% to 70%, but he pushed himself past where the team wanted him to be.  You don't want to rush an arm injury on a pitcher and have him just go out there to get hurt again.  The Sox season fell apart last year when Peavy got hurt and with him they have a really solid 1 through 5 starting rotation.  Without him the Sox only really have 4 starters with any experience and they don't have Freddy Garcia (signed with Yankees) to fill in at the 5th starter spot.


Who is the Closer?  The Sox let Bobby Jenks go this off-season.  It was time, his numbers had been declining and he was going to cost a lot in arbitration if they kept him.  Chris Sale looks ready to be the closer.  He put up great numbers after being called up last season (1.93 ERA, 1.07 WHIP and 32 K in 23.1 innings), and really just looked like a closer.  But we all know that Ozzie likes his veterans and may give Matt Thornton the shot this year.


Is it Morel or Teahen at 3rd?  Mark Teahen had a bad year at the plate last year and an even worse year in the field.  Brent Morel came up late in the year and played great defense and all those crazy stat guys say that his bat should pick it up this year.  If I was in charge Morel would get the job to start the year and Teahen would be used in a utility role, but Teahen got a new three year contract before the season last year, so we will see what if that makes the front office think he deserves another chance.


Is Beckham ready to jump to the next level?  I can't possibly analyze this question fairly because I have been in love with Beckham since his first at-bat.  With that said he had an absolutely terrible first half of the season last year that had people wondering if he should be sent back to the minors. He got his act together in the second half and posted a .310 average and an .877 OPS.  If he can do that for a whole season, which isn't out of the question, that is definitely making the jump to the next level.


Even with those unanswered questions, the team is in good shape.  The upgrades of Dunn over the garbage they had at DH last year and a full year of Edwin Jackson will be huge.  The White Sox are ready to challenge the Twins this year. Now they just need to figure out how to win a game in Minnesota.

This was bound to happen

Last night the inevitable happened, Blake Griffin aka Blake Superior aka Earthblake aka it doesn't matter what you call him because he is on monster, hit his head on the backboard.  Which is what happens when you have a 42" vertical and play basketball with no regard for your body or anybody else's for that matter.   It seems like he is on track for a horrific injury if he keep playing the way he does, but let's hope that doesn't happen, because the man is providing amazing highlights every night he plays.  

Also let's hope his head isn't too rattled, we need him all there so that he can save the dunk contest on Saturday.  He is our last hope.

Veronica Corningstone would be so proud

Salon via the Daily What - It was an unremarkable story: a puff piece about an Australian soccer player and some symbolic, miniature urn he carried with him. But then anchor Belinda Heggen deviated from the typically banal chitchat -- and created what can only be described as an Anchorman moment. With a dash of The Office.

Oh Snap!!! Belinda pulled a straight Veronica Corningstone on Australian Ron Burgandy right there.  I really hope this telecast ended with a "Go fuck yourself Australia".

So the C.C. stands for Cap'n Crunch

NY Daily News - Turns out the secret to CC Sabathia's 25-pound weight loss this winter was another guy with the same initials.  "Not eating Cap'n Crunch every day," Sabathia revealed when asked what changes he made to his diet to help him trim down from 315 lbs. to 290 since the end of last season. "I'm actually what it says on the back of my card."

First off congrats to fatty for losing some weight in what he appears to making a contract year, nice work.  Nothing like money to motivate a person.  And I have always heard that if you stop eating an entire box of cereal in a day you will probably lose some weight, so I'm glad to see that it works.

Now on to the important stuff not covered in this article, and two things the interviewer absolutely has to ask about.  

Question 1:  How can the roof of somebody's mouth possibly take the pain of eating a box of Cap'n Crunch everyday?

Anybody who is ever eaten Cap'n Crunch knows the stuff absolutely destroys the roof of your mouth, especially if you are eating it dry.  Eating dry Cap'n Crunch is like eating razor blades, sweet delicious razor blades.  I assume CC was eating it dry since he was downing a whole box a day, so was his mouth just bleeding all over the place everyday, or did he develop a resistance to it.  Like some gross hardened scar tissue that let him eat that much Cap'n

Question 2:  How much pot do you smoke on a daily basis?

Now I know CC can't answer this because he is a professional baseball player, but there is no way that somebody that eats this much Cap'n Crunch isn't a full on pothead.  Everybody that went to college knows a few stoners and downing a whole box of Cap'n Crunch is something only a full on pothead could do.  Like if you have a kid and you suspect him of smoking weed, don't just ask him, because there is no way he will answer yes Just leave an open box of Cap'n Crunch on the counter.  If its empty when you wake up, check the roof his mouth and if its all scraped and up and bloody, your kid is a pothead. Then you can kick his ass.

Who's got next?

Jordan and Pippen were sitting court side at the Bulls game last night and let me tell you, it was just awesome to see them together again.  Like I seriously have no idea what happened in the game, I just staring at MJ and Pip and hoping the camera would zoom in on them as much as possible.  It was really just a lot of Pippen clapping when the Bulls scored and MJ clapping when the Bobcats scored, kind of like the State of Union Address of basketball, but without Joe Biden making weird faces in the background.

These guys look like they want a game right now, and they should have made it happen. I know Stacey King and big Bill Wennington were announcing and Paxson had to be in the building somewhere doing his GM stuff.  Thats a starting 5 right there and roll out some random Bulls and Bobcats scrubs who didn't get in, and we got a game.  Nobody would have left the stadium and I'm 100% confident old Jordan and Pippen win that game.

Groundbreaking video shows guys check out hot asses

Gawker.TV - A girl in LA goes on a quest to find out what really goes on behind her back by attaching a hidden camera to her rear. It turns out it's not only men who are transfixed by a curvy behind.

Follow her on her hidden camera mission through LA - one asscam reaction at a time.

Is there one person that was remotely surprised by what this video showed?  Guys are going to look at a nice ass that walks by, and some girls are too, whether they like to admit it or not.  I see guys whipping their heads around to check out some ass every single day.  I have no idea what these girls expected to find besides that.

I do have some advice for them though.  Next time the asscam should actually be focused on their asses while they are walking. It would better the video from not interesting to somewhat interesting.

Wow, Cee Lo has really let himself go since the Grammy's two days ago

But in all seriousness.  I need a mashup of Furkel here in a dance off with Chris Farley in the Chippendales outfit from SNL, and I need it now.


PS - RIP Chris and Patrick

You might want to check out the score bro

OregonLive.com - Watch this higlight clip of West Salem's Alex Roth, who ends the game against North Salem with this backboard-shattering follow-up dunk. North Salem beat West Salem, 56-44

That seriously had to be the weakest dunk to ever shatter a backboard in basketball history.  There was no power behind it and he barely hung on the rim.  Oh and I watched this video three times before I even realized that they lost this game by 12 points and everybody is freaking out like they just won the championship or something. The correct celebration here is the standard yelling of "Oooooohhh!!" and then putting your arms out to the side to hold everyone back.  Has Shaq taught us nothing at the dunk contest?


Don't get me wrong though, if I was this Alex Roth kid, I would absolutely never stop telling this story.  I could be 45 years old and looking for job and shattering a backboard to end the game would be the first thing on my resume and there would be a direct link to this video on my linkedin for potential employers to see.