Pacers Have Gone Fishin'

You gotta love the TNT "Gone Fishin" pictures and you gotta love the Pacers effort in that series.  They just tried so darn hard and were able to get one whole win in a game in which Derrick Rose got hurt.  God bless them.  Indy fans shouldn't get too excited about their team's future after this though.  I know the Pacers have some good young players and some cap room, but they play in Indianapolis and no big star is taking the money to go to Indy.  So they are gonna have to overpay for a pretty good player and then be stuck in NBA hell (too good to get a good draft pick, too bad to win anything) for the next five years.

Big Mistake: Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari Got Engaged

Over the weekend Jay Cutler got engaged to reality TV "star" Kristin Cavallari.  I guess he popped the question when they were are on vacation in Cabo or something, but it doesn't really matter.  What does matter is that this is really the first time I have ever questioned Jay Cutler.

Tony Larussa's Eye Is Totally Fucked Up

I mean there is no nice way to say this, Tony Larussa's eye is just totally fucked up.  I guess he has like super pink eye or something, but I don't really care what it is because I can't even look at him.  If I saw him on the El, I would run as fast as I could to the other side of the car.  He kind of looks like he should be the bad guy in the next 007 movie or something.

Throwing Back a Home Run at Wrigley...FAIL

 

Hey bro, if you know you throw like fucking Bret Saberhagen, you might want to check if someone is standing right next to you before you try to sidearm that shit back onto the field.  But really it's not his fault that the Cubs have that stupid tradition of throwing opposing teams' home runs back on the field.  I never understood it at all.  It's not like Albert Pujols sees them throw it back and is all, "Gosh dang it, I hit the ball out of the park, why did those jerks throw it back", and gets rattled for the rest of the game.   It doesn't do anything but make Cubs fans have to give back there once in a lifetime home run ball.  

Bears 2011 Schedule Is Out, and I Love It

 

Everybody is saying the Bears have a tough schedule, but I disagree, this schedule is perfect.   People are sleeping on the lockout and the possibility that this season isn't gonna start on time.  Which means those three tough games to start the year, (vs Atlanta, @New Orleans, vs Green Bay) probably aren't gonna happen.  Oh yeah, and the Bears are also a "road team" in England, against the Bucs, which is really a neutral site.

Nicki Minaj Giving a Nashty Lap Dance

If anybody really needs Nicki Minaj's comically gigantic ass in his face, it's Steve Nash (or me).  I mean A'mare left him all alone in Phoenix, he missed the playoffs, and he got divorced a month ago.  Oh, and the reason he got divorced was because his wife gave birth to his (now former) teammate, Jason Richardson's baby.  Which he didn't know about until he saw the baby for the first time, and let's just say, it didn't really look like him.  So yeah, Steve Nash deserves this lap dance, and many more.

Reds Pitcher Mike Leake Got Caught Stealing

TheBigLead  - The Cincinnati Reds pitcher was arrested this afternoon for allegedly stealing from Macy’s. According to the Cincinnati Enquirer, “Leake, of Ludlow, was arrested after Macy’s department store loss prevention employees stopped the Reds pitcher today after they say he took $59.88 in property from the store. Police said the incident was caught on security cameras.” [UPDATE: American Rag t-shirts. That's weak.] You’re obviously curious what Leake – the team’s No. 1 draft pick in 2009, who is 2-0 this year – makes, right? The answer: $425,000. 

This Hit Sums Up the Blackhawks' Playoffs Nicely

 

I don't care if this was a penalty, it is the perfect representation of this Canucks vs Blackhawks series.  Raffi Torres just erased Brent Seabrook and in one more game the Canucks will erase the Blackhawks from the playoffs.  At least after their next game I (and the rest of the Chicago) can stop pretending to care about hockey.

Derrick Rose Looks Presidential As Fuck

Just look at our boy D-Rose up there.  If that doesn't look like our next President, I don't know what does.  Really a questionable move by Obama inviting Derrick to the fundraiser.  I mean he just unknowingly launched the Derrick Rose presidential campaign.  Think about it, NBA MVP, Finals MVP, and President of the United States of America just seems like a natural progression to me.  D-ROSE 2012!!!

Good News and Bad News

Good news everybody, I got a real job.  Bad news too, I got a real job.  Which mean I'm not going to be able to spend most of my day dicking around on the internet and trying to find stuff to post on the blog.  It sucks, but unless this blog starts paying bills, it's the way it has to be.

But don't worry because ChicagBro Sports ain't going anywhere.  It might be a little different, but it's not going anywhere.  Will there be less posts during the week?  Yes.  But, will there be more posts at night and on the weekends?  Yes.

So keep checking out the blog and if you want updates on when new stuff gets posted you can follow me on twitter @ChicagBroSteve or "like" ChicagBro Sports on Facebook and get all the updates.  Thanks for your support so far, let's see where this thing goes.

P.S. - If you have any tips or if you feel like you might want to write some blog posts (especially if you are a Cubs or Blackhawks fan , since I'm not) email me at arendass@chicagbrosports.com.

ChicagBro Sports NBA Awards for 2010-2011 Season

The NBA regular season is over and the playoffs start Saturday, but before we get to the playoffs, we have regular season awards to hand out.  Now I could wait for the actual awards to get handed out by the league, but that is no fun, and they will probably screw up something.  So let's get at it.

The French Canadian Gus Johnson Kills This Hockey Call

That's right, two days, two hockey posts.  I mean this one has nothing to do with the NHL or the Blackhawks losing last night, but it is still about hockey.  Our guy Gus Johnson would be proud of this call.  I mean sure it's only junior hockey, sure his French Canadian accent is terrible and sure it sounds like he is going through puberty, but Gus would be proud of this guy's emotion. 

Patrick Kane's Playoff Mullet Is Back

That's right, this post is kind of about hockey.  My favorite part of the Hawks' championship run last year was Kaner's playoff mullet and it's back.  Really, how could it not be back?  He can't grow a playoff beard and that sweet, striped mullet brought the team good luck last year.  And they are going to need that luck this year, because it looks like Vancouver is ready to knock off the Blackhawks after losing to them in the playoffs the last two years.  As a non-hockey fan I'm pulling for the Hawks this year for all the fans in the city, and for another round of drunken Kaner stories that would come out if the Hawks can pull off an unlikely repeat.  Here is some video of Kaner and his new mullet below.

Derrick Rose Held a Personal Dunk Contest Last Night

The Bulls and Knicks were playing a close game last night until the Bulls decided they didn't want the game to be close anymore.  The Bulls came out in the second half, went on a 26-2 run and won the game easily 103-90.  No big surprise.  I just want the playoffs to start now, and the Bulls to be totally healthy when they start.  At least Derrick made the game interesting by holding his own, personal slam dunk contest.  Check out all the dunks below.

Dancing White Sox Fan Shows Off His Giant Gut

 

Thanks to Guyism

Way to keep the stereotype alive bro.  I'm trying to fight the good fight and prove that White Sox fans aren't white trash and then Shrek over here has to put on a Gordon Beckham crop top and dance around with his giant gut hanging out.  My argument has just been shattered by this video and I don't even know if I have one left.  Not to mention, I'm pretty sure that the White Sox lost last night because this guy's gut blinded Juan Pierre and made him drop that fly ball in the ninth.

The Masters Was Ridiculously Awesome

The Masters yesterday was amazing and that's saying a lot coming from me.  I'm not some kind of golf super fan.  I'm a terrible golfer who only watches golf on TV for three different reasons; it's Sunday at the Masters and Tiger is in the mix, it's the last day of the Ryder Cup (because I love watching the USA take on an entire continent), and the third is if it is windy as fuck at the British Open and I get to see professional golfers look like fools (and throw in the bonus of ridiculous 140 foot putts if its on a links course).  So I got a treat yesterday when I saw that Tiger was tearing it up on the front nine.

Indestructible Pirates Fan Gets Beaten and Tasered Three Times

USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!  There is nothing better than a good USA chant.  Well except watching this beast of a man take a tasering like nobody ever has before.  Just mocking the cop and doing a fake "I'm being electrocuted" shake right in his face.  Then the cop cracks him in the neck with a billy club and he doesn't even flinch.  I counted three taser shots and and multiple shots from the billy club, and I think this guy could have taken way more.  I think he was just bored, so he decided to go down.

ChicagBro of the Week: Carlos Quentin

TCQ has just killed it so far this season.  AL Player of the Week in week one and he is batting .458 with two home runs and 10 RBI in the first six games.  That makes Carlos Quentin the ChicagBro of the Week.  If Quentin has a big year, that lineup is going to be terrifying and the White Sox have a good chance of going to the playoffs.  Keep it up Quper Man.

So That's What You Use a Pube Gun For

I really hope that dude deserved that and they were getting him back for something, because getting shot in the face by a pube cannon would really ruin your night of sleep.  I mean if they weren't getting back at him for something that was a real dick move.  Dude made it to his bed, and it's just bad fucking with drunk people etiquette, to fuck with somebody who is in bed.  If dude passed out on the ground, or even the couch, you can shit on his face for all I care, but he made it to his bed, leave him alone.  I guess they did care about him enough to put sunglasses on him, so he didn't go blind from having pubes shot in his face.

Roethlisberger Won't Live in Sin

Shutdown Corner - We knew Ben Roethlisberger(notes) was getting married. Now we know the particulars.
The Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback spoke for the first time this week about his upcoming nuptials. In an interview with the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Roethlisberger confirmed that he's engaged to 26-year-old Ashley Harlan, whom he met during training camp in 2005.
"We were kind of on and off for five years -- almost six years now -- so I've known her for a while," Roethlisberger told the newspaper. "It's not like a random new person. We dated awhile ago; we have been friends ever since."
Roethlisberger and Harlan became engaged around Christmas, but the quarterback refused to talk about the subject during the Steelers' run to the Super Bowl. The 26-year-old works as a physician's assistant in the cardiac surgery department of a Pittsburgh hospital. She attended St. Francis College, where she played softball.
The two are scheduled to be married on July 23, one week before the scheduled start of training camp.
"I think a small part of her is hoping we hold out for a week so we can honeymoon," he said. "I told her I was laughing with coach [Mike] Tomlin; he said 'You guys might have to have the honeymoon suite at Saint Vincent.'" (Isn't he not supposed to be talking to coaches?)
Another revelation in the lengthy interview was that Roethlisberger won't live with Harlan until the wedding because of their religious beliefs. She still lives at home with her parents in nearby Newcastle.

Yawn...Bulls Dominate Celtics

The Bulls just dominated the Celtics last night 97 - 81, and frankly, I'm not surprised.  And why should I be?  The Bulls have proven that they are the best basketball team in the Eastern Conference (if not the entire NBA) this regular season and the best team in the East should be able to win games easily at home.

Cell Phones and Back-Flips in Amateur Soccer

Two bizarre soccer clips for the price of one today.  First off, we got this guy just taking a cell phone call while playing defense.  He had to be expecting this call, right?  And what was so fucking urgent that he had the coach answer the phone and call him off the field to take the call.  I seriously have no clue what it could be.  It would have to be something both expected and super urgent, so maybe you just sit out the game, its not like you play for Manchester United.

Lebron's Mom Is Out of Control

Yahoo Sports - The mother of Miami Heat basketball star LeBron James(notes) was arrested by Miami Beach police after she reportedly assaulted a valet worker because it was taking too long to have her car delivered.
Police said Gloria James had a strong odor of alcohol on her breath and her eyes were bloodshot when officers arrived at the hotel about 4:47 a.m. Thursday.

Police said several witnesses supported valet worker Sorel Rockfeller’s account of the alleged assault.
Gloria James was taken to the Miami Beach Police Department, where she was issued a Promise to Appear on charges of simple battery and disorderly conduct. A police report says she was released to Miami Heat executive Steve Stowe.

Gloria James pleaded no contest to DUI and other charges in 2006.

The Carlos Quentin Saves the Day

No Dunn, no pitching, no defense, no problem.  Carlos Quentin aka Quper Man aka TCQ aka The Carlos Quentin saves the day.  He went 4 for 6, with a home run in the 8th, a 2 run double to take the lead in the ninth, and a double that led to him scoring the winning run in the 12th.  TCQ was AL Player of the Week last week, and it looks like he wants to run it back this week.

Catfight at Brewers Home Opener

Nothing like a little catfight to start of the baseball season.  I guess this is what happens when people tailgate before baseball games like they are football games.  Nobody likes to tailgate like people in Wisconsin.  They just love to drink beer and eat cheese outside and god loves them for it. I'm sure there are two guys doing a keg stand in a parking lot, next to a little league baseball practice in Waukesha right now.

Creepy Girls Sing About Derrick Rose

Ha, and you thought all videos about NBA players had to be set to rap music.  Don't you feel foolish now?  Lexy and Stephany just sang a beautiful/terrible song about Derrick Rose being awesome and wining the MVP and they just shattered all preconceived notions on what a YouTube NBA video should be like.

Jereme Richmond Declares for NBA Draft

ChicagoBreakingSports - Back in January, amid rumors that he was considering a transfer, Illinois freshman Jereme Richmond proclaimed himself, “an Illini for life.”
It turns out he meant until April.
On Tuesday, Illinois announced that Richmond, who committed to the program prior to his freshman year of high school, will declare for the 2011 NBA Draft and will not return to Illinois.
“I enjoyed my time at the University of Illinois and would like to thank the coaching staff and my teammates for everything they've done for me,” Richmond said in a statement released by the school. “At this time, I'm ready to follow my dreams and achieve my life-long goal of playing in the NBA.”

You Deserve This If You Propose at a Baseball Game

Proposing at a baseball game is a dick move.  It's cheesy as hell and everybody is looking at the girl, so if she says "no", she looks like a super bitch.  So if you do propose to someone at a baseball game, you totally deserve to have a guy fellate a churro right behind you, during your 15 seconds of fame.

"One Shining Moment" Sucks

I don't really understand why people love the "One Shining Moment" montage so much.  Am I the only one who thinks it is cheesy as hell?  Do people just like it because it is a tradition?  That must be it, because if this was a brand new YouTube video and nobody ever heard of "One Shining Moment", this thing would get like 12 hits.  It blows.

Why Do People Like College Basketball More Than the NBA?

How about that game last night?  Oh yeah, it was terrible.  UCONN beat Butler 53-41 in what was an abortion of a National Championship game.  I was waiting for the media to talk about how it was a great defensive struggle, but shockingly they just said the game was terrible.  It's about time.  In fact most college basketball games are terrible.  Don't get me wrong I watch some college basketball (Illini games, and the NCAA Tournament), but it just kind of sucks.

My Ass, Madden 12 Will Be a Concussion Teaching Tool

ProFootballTalk - This year’s version of the Madden video game will place a new emphasis on concussions, with any player suffering a concussion being sidelined for the rest of the game, and the game announcers (Gus Johnson and Cris Collinsworth) explaining the seriousness of head injuries.
John Madden says he approves of those changes to the game that bears his name.
“Concussions are such a big thing, it has to be a big thing in the video game,” Madden told the New York Times. “It starts young kids — they start in video games. I think the osmosis is if you get a concussion, that’s a serious thing and you shouldn’t play. Or leading with the head that you want to eliminate. We want that message to be strong.”

Derrick Rose Invited James Johnson to a Block Party

Get that weak shit out of here!  And that is exactly why the Bulls gave up on James Johnson in less than 2 years.  He has no basketball IQ, what so ever.  You have to give that ball up there on the 2 on 1 break.  Especially when the other guy on the break is Demar Derozan, the man who would have won the dunk contest this year, if it wasn't a prop-dunk contest. 

Oh yeah, the Bulls just keep rolling along.  Up 2.5 on the Heat for the 1 seed, with 6 games left.

ChicagBro of the Week: Adam Dunn

 

There was a donkey show in Cleveland today as the Big Donkey, Adam Dunn, went 2 for 4, with a double, a home run and 4 RBI.  He probably wasn't even the player of the game since TCQ (The Carlos Quentin) went 3 for 4, with a double, a home run and 5 RBI, but that doesn't matter.  Because Dunn had the big game in his White Sox debut, and helped show how potent this new lineup can be (15 runs scored by the Sox), earning him the ChicagBro of the Week. 

P.S. - I don's miss Mark Kotsay at all.

White Sox and Cubs Opening Day Lineups

Opening Day is here in Chicago and we get to see what White Sox and Cubs lineups are actually going to look like this year. 

White Sox Opening Day Lineup
1. Juan Pierre, LF
2. Gordon Beckham, 2B
3. Adam Dunn, DH
4. Paul Konerko, 1B
5. Alex Rios, CF
6. Carlos Quentin, RF
7. A.J. Pierzynski, C
8. Alexei Ramirez, SS
9. Brent Morel, 3B

That Kid From YouTube Won the College Dunk Contest

Jacob Tucker (that kid from YouTube) from Illinois College won the NCAA Slam Dunk contest.  Normally this would be shocking, but this really couldn't be less of surprise.  I mean he is 5'10" and has a 50" vertical, and we have all seen him dunk, there was no way he was gonna lose.  As soon as he was invited to this contest, it was inevitable that he would win.  But I don't really get why he was in it at all.